“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
- Lao Tzu
From Michele Lisenbury Christensen, relationship expert and founder of
the Hot Love Revolution:
Dear deeply loved and deeply loving one, welcome!
I’m so glad you’re here, and I don’t think it’s any accident. This big wide world contains many enemies of sweet, potent, well-tended love and few champions of it, but you’ve found your way to the sanctuary for women, men, and couples who are – or desire to be – passionately, pants-on-fire, energizingly, uproariously in love with their spouses.
I’ve got a sense about you:
You know you’re with the right person and there’s so much love and goodness between you. Other people admire (some even envy) your relationship.
But you don’t tell them about the places it’s not-so-hot.
- The no-fly-zone topics you can’t talk about without a big fight. (So you don’t).
- The ‘dry spells’ when one of you (or both of you) lose interest in sex – for reasons known or unknown.
- The way you sometimes guiltily wonder, “will I be able to go the rest of my life without this getting a whole lot better?”
You never want to not be married to your partner. But you also need things to get a whole lot better.
More sensual. Feeling closer. Working together as a solid team.
Feeling really heard, seen, gotten, cherished.
In short, you want to feel both deeply in love and profoundly beloved.
You want your love to feel both securely cozy and wildly alive.
Oh, and that other part: The vaguely 50 Shades of Gray part. Not that you want to be suspended from the ceiling (who’s going to take care of your kids if you break your leg in some utterly anti-climactic sex stunt?).
But if he could grab your wrists and be in charge… In the bedroom, and otherwise…
You haven’t been able to articulate it yourself, so I’ll spell it out for you: you want to be handled.
Not to feel ineffectual yourself or like your husband is domineering. But at least sometimes, you want to feel like he is in charge and he has things under control. So you can let down your guard. So you can let go. So you can surrender. For just a bit.
You’ve read books. You’ve meditated. Taken a pole dance class. Maybe even a Tantra workshop. Maybe you’ve been to therapy with your husband. Or on your own. Or both. And it helps. But the itch hasn’t gone away. And you despair of ever putting your finger on it. You fear he’ll never get it. You fear you’re an insatiable bitch for wanting more, given all you have and how happy it (honestly!) makes you.
What you desire seems so nebulous and so out-of-reach you usually just push it out of your mind.
But now, my love… Now you’re here. You don’t have to get all revolutionary yourself, just yet.
Come in, sit down, and grab a cup of tea.
You can start by warming yourself by the fire I’ve built in my life and in others’. In due time, we’ll stoke yours, too.
Why should you stick around and join the revolution?
- Your body, your mind, and your spirit all suffer when you settle for lukewarm love. And what an insult to the amazing person you married, to have a less-than-amazing connection between you?! When the two of you tap Hot Love, it’s like a (safe!) nuclear reactor: you light up not only your bodies and hearts, but your careers, your parenting, your creativity, and your social activism. Intimacy is the most potent source of human power there is. You can harness it to create anything.
- I’ve made it my life’s mission to help couples make more love. It’s the best way I know to use my gifts to make the world a better place. My zeal and deep belief that lifelong relationships can get better and deeper and hotter with time will rub off on you. And when it does, some of the things that most persistently make you sad and lonely and tired now will give you joy, pleasure, connection, and energy.
- Your turn-on is MUCH more important than you know. Although our culture has taught you to put your desires after your commitments, your ambitions, and your loved ones’ needs, I know in my bones this truth: your pleasure and your desires are the fire at the center of your home. You are the hearth. If you aren’t well-stoked, in body, mind, and spirit, the whole house is cold, and everyone in it suffers, whether you know why or not. You feel the truth of these words even if you do cannot fully comprehend or agree just yet. Stick around. It’ll seep in
- I’m the mojo-mentor for you, because so much other relationship & sex stuff just feels OFF. You’re never going to be a feather-boa-and-stilletos kind of sexy. You’re more about vintage aprons and great-fitting yoga pants. You don’t need champagne, caviar, and red roses to feel romantic. You crave the electricity of presence. Of everyday sensuality. Of great sex, yes! But handcrafted sex that’s as real, as thoughtful, as organic as the rest of your intentionally-designed life. Me too, and that’s why I dish up sexy-next-door. Sexy for real people. Sexy like your cozy down jacket. Turn-on like homebrewed kombucha. Hotness with your kid’s yogurt on your shirt. Right?
- This site, my blog, twitter, facebook, and most of all my hot list newsletter are free ways you can receive ongoing inspiration and concrete tools for making lasting love and renewable passion in your marriage. Nothing to invest, everything to gain.
We put the O back in Office
My workspace is a temple to love, to intimacy, and to pleasure. Truth lives here.
You’ll feel it whether you come in person or we meet by phone or Skype.
The Hot Love Revolution is headquartered in an aqua-colored office with twin chandeliers in my home in Broadview, a salt-breezy neighborhood of wide streets and tall trees in Northwest Seattle. In this space, I write from my heart to yours, meet with couples face-to-face, and use Skype and phone to make more love with conscious couples all over the world.
I look forward to learning more about you and to helping you find more love in body, mind, and soul. Thank you for stopping by. Please choose a way to join the Hot Love Revolution today. The world needs you… the turned-on version of you.